The world of youth soccer can be overwhelming. Parents, just as difficult as it is on you at times with training and games, which uniform to wear, do my kids have water? or whatever else that is needed. It is equally, if not more difficult for your kids. And you know what? That is a good thing!
I remember the first few nights when we brought our son home from the hospital after he was born. I was so worried about him that I woke up every time I heard the faintest noise. Is he okay? Did he fall out of his crib? Is he still breathing? I checked on him every time. He was fine.
I had to force myself not to do the same things when we started sports. Does he have water? Does he have both uniforms? Where are his shinguards? After 1 or 2 practices, I said 'this is for the birds.'
So I let him fail. I let him forget his water, shinguards, and even his uniform. It has happened on more than one occasion and I am fairly confident he has forgotten all of them at the same time. He is fine. And that is a good thing!
More importantly, I am fine. Don't get me wrong, I remind him what he needs and once in a while, I may even fill his water bottle, but I let him take care of the little things. I don't stress out about my son (or daughter) not having their cleats. I let them stress out and deal with it. My kids have trained in tennis shoes, borrowed cleats, and even used a pair a size or two small from the lost and found. And yes, they are fine.
I let them fail (and succeed) on their own with the little things. And at the end of the day, they get 100% of the reprimands (and rewards) for their actions. I get to see them grow right in front of my eyes. It is sometimes very hard and frustrating, but I am seeing some results. If they are like me, I am sure they will not master this...well probably ever.
Kids, why do the little things matter? Who cares if I wear the training gear or Barcelona jersey. Clothes don't make the player. Right? Big deal if I get to a game 15 minutes before instead of 30 or 45. I am here when it counts. You know what? You are right. Clothes don't make the player. Being on time probably won't affect how you play.
The little things may not affect you at all, however they do affect others. Showing commitment to the team by being on time (or even early) is massive in earning the trust of your coaches and teammates. Wearing the proper training gear is a small action in showing your teammates that you are willing to put aside your wants for the good of the team. The little things matter because they show others who you are. The little things matter because they take effort. The type of effort that forces you to make a choice that shows what is important.
When you add up all the little things, they begin to become the big things - ATTITUDE, EFFORT, GRIT, TALENT, KNOWLEDGE, and more. Hearing you need to change your attitude can be intimidating. Where to begin? Start with the little things. Make an easy choice to wear the proper gear. Simple. Choose to be on time for practices and games. Simple. Choose to not cut a single corner in laps and to touch every line in shuttle runs. A little tougher, but you have already accomplished so much.
Parents, let your kids handle the little things so they learn to fail, but just as important, so they learn to succeed. Kids, take care of the little things so you show to others who you are, to build trust with your team, and to build confidence in yourself. And kids, taking care of the little things now is a lot easier than dealing with the BIG THINGS later.
Thursday, February 18, 2016
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
Is It Important?
Is it important? If it is not, then other things take precedence. How important is soccer? As a coach for over two decades I have heard every reason for why someone cannot make a practice. Many legitimate and many not. Hanging out with friends, homework, a family dinner are all valuable and important endeavors. So I ask again, how important is soccer?
Every year I meet with players and parents who all tell me they want to play college soccer or be a more prominent player in their team, and many times I have to tell them that soccer must become important to you. Soccer cannot be that thing that you do. Soccer cannot be just something you do, if you want to play at a higher level and move up to a starter, varsity, or college.
If your answer is YES. Then you must make time for soccer. First, training is not optional. You can't decide that you are not going because it is too cold, you have too much homework, or your family is going to dinner or a play. You will have to sacrifice things in order to be at training. You may have to get up early or stay up late to finish homework, you are going to have to tell your friends and family that you will have to miss the play or dinner, not because you don't love them, but because soccer is important. When they know it is important, they will understand.
If your answer is YES. You have to take steps to improve. Tens of thousands of kids are training 2-3 times a week and playing games on the weekend. What will separate you? Modify your diet. Make wise choices everyday, not just during tournaments or game day. You need to be on the ball everyday. Days you do not train with your team, you need to put 30-60 minutes in with the ball. Individual skill work, futsal, small sided games, anything and everything to get your foot on the ball. You do not need to pay someone to make you a better athlete (if money is an issue). There are unlimited amounts of resources (including your club coaches) that can help you put together a plan to improve your strength, quickness, stamina. You do not even have to lift a single weight.
If your answer is YES. Nothing will prevent you from playing the game. Cold weather means a gym floor or layers of clothes. Heavy homework means 20 minute juggle breaks or going to bed late. Conflicts means you plan ahead and communicate with your coaches. This shows leadership (a highly desirable trait in a team sport) and allows a coach to plan accordingly.
PARENTS, if your child's answer is YES. You should not only support them, but you should also be a reminder. Just like education is important and you remind your child to do their homework, you remind them to do their soccer homework. Becoming better at anything requires you to do things that you do not like. When we do not like things, we avoid them (procrastinate). See almost any teenager when it comes to homework. If it truly is important than your reminders will be just that - reminders. If it is not important, your reminders will not help. And at least you know how serious they are about the game.
PLAYERS, if your answer is YES. With or without reminders from your parents, you will find a way. The more important it is, the more time and energy you will put into it. The more you are invested, the more that is on the line. Emotions will be strong, keep them in check. But that is for another time.
"Consider the postage stamp, its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there" - American humorist John Billings.
Every year I meet with players and parents who all tell me they want to play college soccer or be a more prominent player in their team, and many times I have to tell them that soccer must become important to you. Soccer cannot be that thing that you do. Soccer cannot be just something you do, if you want to play at a higher level and move up to a starter, varsity, or college.
If your answer is YES. Then you must make time for soccer. First, training is not optional. You can't decide that you are not going because it is too cold, you have too much homework, or your family is going to dinner or a play. You will have to sacrifice things in order to be at training. You may have to get up early or stay up late to finish homework, you are going to have to tell your friends and family that you will have to miss the play or dinner, not because you don't love them, but because soccer is important. When they know it is important, they will understand.
If your answer is YES. You have to take steps to improve. Tens of thousands of kids are training 2-3 times a week and playing games on the weekend. What will separate you? Modify your diet. Make wise choices everyday, not just during tournaments or game day. You need to be on the ball everyday. Days you do not train with your team, you need to put 30-60 minutes in with the ball. Individual skill work, futsal, small sided games, anything and everything to get your foot on the ball. You do not need to pay someone to make you a better athlete (if money is an issue). There are unlimited amounts of resources (including your club coaches) that can help you put together a plan to improve your strength, quickness, stamina. You do not even have to lift a single weight.
If your answer is YES. Nothing will prevent you from playing the game. Cold weather means a gym floor or layers of clothes. Heavy homework means 20 minute juggle breaks or going to bed late. Conflicts means you plan ahead and communicate with your coaches. This shows leadership (a highly desirable trait in a team sport) and allows a coach to plan accordingly.
PARENTS, if your child's answer is YES. You should not only support them, but you should also be a reminder. Just like education is important and you remind your child to do their homework, you remind them to do their soccer homework. Becoming better at anything requires you to do things that you do not like. When we do not like things, we avoid them (procrastinate). See almost any teenager when it comes to homework. If it truly is important than your reminders will be just that - reminders. If it is not important, your reminders will not help. And at least you know how serious they are about the game.
PLAYERS, if your answer is YES. With or without reminders from your parents, you will find a way. The more important it is, the more time and energy you will put into it. The more you are invested, the more that is on the line. Emotions will be strong, keep them in check. But that is for another time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)